Are You in Your Head or in the World?

We had just finished the big shop as we contemplated the frozen food to freezer space ratio.

"There's no way that's going to all fit in there," said my fiancé.

But I wasn't to be defeated and as I succeeded at rearranging and squeezing all our purchases into the freezer a phrase popped into my head.

"Are you in your head or in the world?"

Bear with me as I expand this idea across more of life than just unpacking the big shop into the freezer because trust me it is super helpful.

Right now, in your business or career, how many things are you trying to work out?

"Will this product land with the customers?"

"Should I ask this question?"

"Will this project work out?"

And where are you doing that working out?

I ask you again to consider, "Are you in your head or in the world?"

Here's what happens with so many business owners and leaders I come across and if I’m honest, me too.

We spend hours and hours creating, developing and honing things in without ever putting them out into the world.

It's crazy when you think about it isn't it.

There we are inside our own heads, in our own office, at our own computers making things that only we ever see.

And why is that?

It's because the only opinion we trust is our own.

It's because we are utterly terrified to hear the opinion of anyone else or, of course, to be rejected.

So here is how it goes so much of the time.

We create something. We listen to our inner critic which pontificates about all the ways in which our creation is subpar, useless and will be judged as so by everyone who comes across it.

Then we drop into fear and never share our amazing, potentially life changing thing with the word.

We spend hours and hours re-jigging, re-inventing and quite frankly perfectioning it out. And all the time. the only guide once we have is from that noisy inner critic.

Before I go on, a word about the inner critic! Well maybe a little more than a word.

Do you even know what that voice inside your head is?

Well, here's a few home truths about that voice.

1. That voice is made of the past

The inner critic was formed at a point when your innocent brain had no choice but to absorb the words, opinions and ideas about you from the people around you. I call this process transference: the voice from the outside becomes the voice on the inside without us knowing it's happening

2. That voice isn't true

People's opinions of you were not true in the past - that was their thoughts at the time, probably when they were upset with you, and they are certainly not true now. Obeying the inner critic is like being guided in life by your angry, blackboard rubber throwing (1970's reference) first grade teacher.

3. That Voice Isn't the True You

It's not your inner guidance and this is how you know. When the noisy inner critic pipe's up, I guarantee that you feel that in your body. Maybe you feel tension, tightness or angry butterflies in your stomach. That is your body letting you know that something is off.

That's how our system is designed.

Off thinking (inner critic) equals off feeling in the body. The tension and tightness are never telling you about the thing you are about to share with the world or the question you are about to ask your boss, they are telling you that the inner critic doesn't like it. Bearing in mind that we are learning to not trust that voice anymore let's see where this can lead.

Let's say we create a thing like a social media post for example or a proposal for a client. As we conclude our composition, we notice a cacophony of noise inside out head. Ideas of judgement, fear of ridicule and failure ring in our ears.

Previously we would have slipped that beautifully crafted creation into a dusty folder in the inner depths of our cloud storage but today is different.

Today, we take a breath, we pause, and we experience the gift we now see that feeling in our body to be.

"Thank you, body, for warning me about my inner critic," we say. A smile creeps across our face as we witness the feeling moving across our body and dissolving as it is meant to. Then we press "go" and we take the action we wanted to take in the first place. We press go on that post or ask the boss to consider our amazing new proposal.

Now here is where the real magic happens! Your creation gets real feedback from real people. People who might be your potential clients or your boss. You get to see what the world thinks about your creation.

That feedback is gold in the world of running a careers and businesses. It allows us to see what works and what doesn’t. It allows us to tweak and change things accordingly. With continual feedback from the real world, we can move our professional life closer and closer to what the world out there really wants and, as a result, closer and closer to our dream life. And all that without taking any advice from our inner critic who is really our angry first grade teacher who happens to be still hanging round in our head.

And the bonus news is that the more we act in the world like this, the more the inner critic realises its own redundance and stops showing up.

So back to my question at the beginning (which might be worth journaling on by the way) - today as you contemplate the things you are going to do during your working day.

"Are you in your head or in the world?”

I would love to know something which is going to move from your head into the world, as a result of reading this article, in the comments and if you want support in overcoming your blocks and moving forward from surviving to thriving why not book an hour with me and let’s see if we can get you out of you head and in to the world.

Please don’t keep your gifts hidden away in the world of your head. The world needs you to share your gifts from your heart.