How to Stop Feeling Grumpy (Or At Least Make Peace With It)

How to Stop Feeling Grumpy (Or At Least Make Peace With It)Today, I am talking about grumpiness. Specifically, how to stop feeling grumpy – or at the very least, how to not get so tangled up in it.

To be honest, this post is mostly for me because I have been grumpy for the past few days. Not just a little bit off, but full-on, can’t-be-bothered-with-any-of-it grumpy. And since talking things through helps me process them, you are getting a real-time exploration of this mood.

So, if you have ever woken up feeling meh for no apparent reason, this one is for you.

Step 1: Stop Trying to Work Out Why You Are Grumpy

In the past, I would have gone into full detective mode trying to figure out what was causing my mood.

• Is it the moon? (Full moon? New moon? Waxing? Waning?)

• Is it Mercury in retrograde? (No idea what that actually means, but I know people blame it for things.)

• Is it the weather? My hormones? Adrenal fatigue from ten years ago?

• Do I have an undiagnosed case of foot fungus that is somehow messing with my brain?

This kind of over-analysis used to drain my energy completely. I would spiral into trying to fix something that I could not even pinpoint.

But here is the truth: you do not know why you are grumpy. And you do not need to know.

Trying to analyse your mood keeps you stuck in it. Instead, try letting it be there without needing an explanation.

Step 2: Accept That It Is Normal to Feel Grumpy

Somewhere along the way, we picked up this idea that we should be constantly happy, productive and upbeat.

But let’s be real. You are not a robot.

You cannot just switch your emotions on and off. Some days, you will feel grumpy. Some days, you will wake up feeling off for no reason. And that is okay.

I remember a client who came to see me years ago. He said, “I wake up grumpy every day. I need to fix this.”

And I said, “What if it is actually fine to wake up grumpy?”

Mind blown.

The moment you stop resisting a feeling, it loses its power. The more you tell yourself, “I should not feel like this,” the more stuck you become.

So instead of making your grumpiness another problem to solve, just accept it for what it is – a passing state that does not mean anything about you.

Step 3: Do Not Make Big Life Decisions When You Are Grumpy

Here is something I have learned the hard way.

Being grumpy is NOT the time to make big decisions.

Yet, every time I have an off week, my brain immediately jumps to:

• “I do not think I want to run a business anymore.”

• “Maybe I should move to a cabin in the woods and live off the grid.”

• “I think I will cancel everything I have planned for the next six months.”

Not helpful.

If you are feeling low-energy, irritable, or just ‘off’, maybe hold off on career-altering, life-changing decisions until the mood has passed. Because it will pass.

Step 4: Notice What You Are Focusing On

Sometimes, a grumpy mood sticks around because we keep feeding it.

For me, I have had a few small things bubbling in the background – an unresolved situation with someone in my life, Bruce going away for a bit, a general sense of “I cannot be bothered with anything right now”.

These things on their own are not a big deal, but if I keep thinking about them, analysing them, re-living them… then of course my mood will linger.

A good question to ask yourself:

• What am I focusing on right now?

• Is this actually helpful?

Sometimes just shifting attention, even slightly, can loosen the grip of a mood.

Step 5: Give People a Heads-Up

If you are feeling grumpy, irritable or emotionally off, warn the people around you.

Bruce, who sees me daily, usually gets a heads-up.

"I am in a bit of a mood today. It is not you. Just ignore me."

We laugh about it now, which actually makes it pass faster.

Because, honestly? Taking yourself too seriously is the quickest way to stay stuck.

Step 6: Drop the Time Limits

Here is something sneaky the inner critic does – it puts a time limit on emotions.

It tells us, "Fine, you can feel grumpy for an hour, but anything beyond that is unacceptable."

And when our mood does not lift as quickly as we expect, we start to feel frustrated, impatient and even more stuck.

I remember once getting really upset because my grumpy phase lasted a whole week. Every day that passed, I got more and more frustrated until I ended up in tears – not because I was grumpy, but because I had expectations about how long a grumpy phase "should" last.

But here is the truth: moods do not work on a schedule.

The more we demand that our mood should have shifted by now, the worse we feel.

Drop the expectations. They are about the future, not the present.

Instead of thinking, "I should be over this by now," try shifting to, "This is how I feel today, and that is okay."

Let it last however long it lasts, and it will pass more naturally.

Final Thoughts: The Grumpiness Will Pass (It Always Does)

The thing about moods is that they never stay the same.

Even while writing this, I already feel lighter. That is the funny thing about expressing what is going on – it takes some of the charge out of it.

So, if you are feeling grumpy today:

✔ Do not overanalyse it.

✔ Let it be okay.

✔ Do not make big life decisions.

✔ Notice what you are focusing on.

✔ Warn the people around you (and try to laugh about it).

✔ Drop the time limits – let it last as long as it lasts.

And most importantly, do not fight it.

Wallow in it if you need to. Wrap yourself in a blanket. Drink tea. Stare out the window. Let yourself just be.

And then, at some point, probably when you least expect it, you will feel lighter again.

Because moods pass. They always do.

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