How To Have An Easier Life

I take people on a journey from overthinking and overwhelm to calm, clarity and ease. That is the thread running through everything I teach, and it is what I want to share with you here.

When we are calm, when we physiologically feel calm and settled in the body, we think more clearly. We have more clarity of mind. And from that place, we create an easier life.

The Pattern That Made My Life Hard

I used to think that when I was upset, that was the time to act more, to speak more, to do more. This left me with a lot of messes to clean up in my relationships, my business and even my health.

Here is a pattern I used to have that did not make my life easy at all. Someone would regularly message my fiance and I on a Sunday night. I would get stirred up in my mind. A feeling of anger and frustration would rise, right in the middle of my body, like a volcano. That feeling was clearly telling me she was out of order and that I needed to send lots of messages back to get her to back off.

I would wake up in the night thinking, right, I know what I am going to say to her. I know what the message is. And I would cause more friction and frustration in my life by doing that. Not ease. Not an easy life. A difficult life, made difficult by me, acting from a place that was not calm and had no clarity in it.

Then one day I saw through it. I saw what I was doing. And I saw that when we relate to other people from a place of frustration, we create more angst between ourselves and them. Our life does not become easier. It becomes more difficult.

Feelings As A Guidance System

I saw something about the nature of how I am feeling in each moment. I saw that it was a clue. A nudge for my guidance system. Those feelings were just letting me know that I was stuck in overthinking something.

I cannot say that all my ducks are in a row now, but I do see it more quickly. When I am upset, here is the truth, my thinking is unhelpful. When I am calm, there is clarity of mind. I act with discernment, and life gets a whole lot easier.

This is not a technique. It is an insight. When we know, with no doubt, that our feeling state is reflecting our state of mind, and that this is not the truth of us, that there is something else available in any moment, that changes everything.

Following What You Cannot Fully Explain

I was in London during a solar eclipse, which turned out to be a wonderful place to be. I really wanted to see it, but I did not want to see it on my own. So at about seven o'clock I set off and just followed the sun, walking around streets I did not know well.

There are a lot of tall buildings and trees where I was, so the sun kept hiding. But I just felt really calm. And it felt like clarity of mind to simply follow the sun. Then I turned a corner and there it was, framed through a gap in the trees.

I saw three people sitting on a staircase with the glasses you need to look at it safely. In the past I probably would have just walked on by. But I asked them, can you see it? And they immediately handed me the glasses. A little gathering formed from there. Complete strangers, sharing something extraordinary, simply because I followed a feeling of calm instead of overthinking whether I should ask.

This is what happens when we make our moves from a calm place. We have clarity of mind. And to me, that clarity of mind is intuition. It is wisdom, guiding us all the time.

Waiting For Clarity Instead Of Chasing It

A few days later, we were leaving our flat in London and I could not find my glasses. I started to panic a little. I imagined they were packed away in the suitcase, which meant unpacking a heavy case again, in a rush, with the car waiting outside on a yellow line.

I just stopped. I paused and took a breath. I waited for the calm to appear, because it is always there when we stop in our minds. As I paused, I remembered that the night before, I had used my glasses to watch something on my laptop. I put my hand in my laptop bag, and there they were, right next to it.

That is how to have an easier life. Wait for clarity. Do not go making decisions when you are feeling stirred up. It is so powerful.

Decision Ready

A friend I have known for years through networking had been struggling with some things in his life, and I had been supporting him. At some point I asked if he might like to work with me properly. He said yes, and booked his first session.

The day before that session, he messaged me and said he had changed his mind and wanted his money back. I felt disappointed. Then frustrated. Maybe a little cross. And I knew, in that moment, that I was not decision ready.

How do you know you are decision ready? You feel calm, and you know exactly what to do. I did not. I could hear a lot of noise. So I left it. I got on with my morning. Later, I sent him a short message. I do not currently know how to answer this. So I am sitting in the not knowing until I do.

The next morning, he messaged back. He had changed his mind again. He did want to work with me. He needed the help. How much easier was that than arguing back and forth, or rushing to give the money back and having to sort out all the practicalities of that. This easier life is often about doing less, not more.

Doing Our Best With The Thinking That Looks True

None of this means I get it right all the time. The version of me who does this well is not doing it perfectly or constantly. But I see it so much more of the time now, and that has taken a journey.

I think of it like this. We are always doing the best we can with the thinking that looks true to us in that moment. Nothing more is possible than that. So when I look back on a moment I am not proud of, there is no use spending my time judging myself for it. That is just more overthinking, and overthinking never brings clarity, only more noise.

What actually helps is coming back to the present. Noticing what is needed right now. If I have been short with my fiance because I was caught up in stirred up thinking, the way through is not hours of self-judgement afterward. It is coming back, noticing his upset, and saying sorry.

What The Three Principles Actually Says

The thing that underpins all of this is called the Three Principles, a description of how the human experience is created. Its originator was a man called Sydney Banks, and he realised the inside out nature of life. We think we are like cameras, looking out at the world and seeing what is objectively there. But we are not cameras. We are projectors.

I used to notice everything that felt wrong in the world, dog mess, litter, all of it. I do not notice it nearly as much now. Nothing about the world changed. Something shifted in how I look at it. The world looks like a nicer, happier, more joyful place, and that has nothing to do with the world becoming nicer or happier.

The three principles themselves are Universal Mind, which is simply the energy of life, the aliveness behind everything, including your own heartbeat and breath, happening without you doing anything to make it happen. Consciousness, our awareness, which is what brings our thinking to life. And Thought, which is what we experience as it is animated by consciousness in each moment.

Here is a simple way to see it. If you wake from a nightmare, you can feel real fear in your body. A moment later, you realise it was only a dream, and the fear falls away almost instantly. Most of us do not realise that we are living in a kind of daymare a lot of the time, believing our thinking about the future or the past is as real and true as that nightmare felt. When we see that our thinking is simply thought, brought to life by consciousness, and not the truth about what is actually happening, everything changes.

This Has Been A Journey, Not A Technique

If you know me, you will know I have not always been here. I used my mind for everything. My thinking, my steely determination, my sheer muscle, to push through life. I made life hard for myself, thinking to the point of exhaustion, believing I could control the outside world through my own effort. Eventually that led to a proper burnout, and I did not work for a whole year.

I spent years trying to fix myself with tools and techniques, hours of self-development, hours of therapy, hours of poking around in the past. None of that is what actually shifted things for me. The only thing I have done consistently is listen to Three Principles content and take myself to real events and real conversations that deepen my understanding. That, and having my own coach, someone who still helps me see where I am misusing the power of thought. This is not a place you arrive and stay forever. It keeps unfolding.

You Are Already Okay

If there is one thing I want you to take from this, it is this. You are okay. There is nothing to do. There is nothing to fix. Underneath all that thinking, you are absolutely fine.

Calm leads to clarity. Clarity leads to an easier life, not because the world becomes easier, but because we are no longer acting from a stirred up, unhelpful place. That is available to you in this moment, exactly as you are.

With love, Clare