empowered woman who stopped feeling like a fraud

How to Stop Feeling Like a Fraud?

Confidence and Empowerment| Confidence and Self-Worth| Emotional Resilience and Inner Calm| Inner Critic to Inner Knowing

March 13, 2025•4 min read

Ever had that feeling that you are not supposed to be where you are? That any minute now, people will realise you are not as capable, skilled, or knowledgeable as they think?

That voice in your head whispers...

"You don't really know what you are doing."
"Any moment now, they are going to realise you are a fraud."
"You should keep quiet. Do not put yourself out there."

We have all felt this. It is so predictable that I have started calling it exactly that, predictable BS.

The good news? You can stop believing it.

Here is how to stop feeling like a fraud and finally move forward with confidence.

Step 1: Recognise Why That Feeling Shows Up

That voice telling you to stop, shrink, or stay quiet always shows up when you are expanding.

When you go for a promotion
When you decide to share your work publicly
When you start your business
When you speak up in a meeting
When you step into a bigger version of yourself

Every time you move into something new, your inner critic panics.

It tells you to stay small, stay safe, and avoid risks.

But here is the truth:

That voice is not proof that you are a fraud. It is proof that you are growing.

Step 2: See That the Inner Critic is Not You

For years, I thought that voice was me.

I would say, “My thinking is telling me I am not good enough.”

But is it really my thinking?

If it was truly me, it would be consistent. It would say the same thing all the time.

Yet, have you noticed how some days you ignore it with ease?

Some days, the voice says, “You are not good enough,” and you just… get on with things anyway.

So, if it is possible to ignore it sometimes, then surely, it cannot be the real you.

That voice is not your inner wisdom. It is not truth. It is just old conditioning, outdated fears, and a deeply ingrained survival mechanism.

And the best thing you can do? See it for what it is and keep going anyway.

Step 3: Stop Trying to Silence the Inner Critic

A lot of people will tell you to fight the inner critic, to replace negative thoughts with positive ones, or to use affirmations until it disappears.

But let’s be realistic, that takes a lot of energy.

And the more you focus on trying to silence it, the more it seems to have to say.

What if, instead, you just let it be there?

What if the voice could be saying, “You are not good enough”, and you still did the thing anyway?

That is where real freedom is.

Because the truth is that waiting for self-doubt to disappear is like waiting for the sun to stop rising.

If you wait until the voice is silent, you will be waiting forever.

Instead, see it for what it is, just noise and take action anyway. Realise that the most powerful move to heal is through action in the real world.

Step 4: Give Your Inner Critic a Ridiculous Name

One of my favourite ways to take the power out of the inner critic is to make it ridiculous.

I call mine Niggly Nelly and her persona is a drunk old lady in the corner muttering nonsense.

Would you take life advice from a tipsy old woman shouting at you from across the pub?

No? Then why take advice from your inner critic?

Laugh at it. Shrug it off. Do the thing anyway.

Step 5: Choose Love Over Fear

Here is something I have noticed.

All of your best ideas, creativity, and inspiration come from a place of love.

And all of your self-doubt, hesitation, and fear come from the inner critic which is always rooted in fear.

So, ask yourself:

Do I want to live a life led by love?

Or do I want to let fear make my choices for me?

It really is that simple.

Final Thoughts: You Are Not a Fraud

To finish, I will leave you with this quote by Jack Pransky:

"All you are is peace, love, and wisdom – and the ability to create the illusion that you are not."

The inner critic is an illusion.

It is not the truth of who you are.

So today, I challenge you:

✔ Do the thing your inner critic says you cannot do.

✔ Take one step towards expansion.

✔ Choose love over fear.

And if this resonates with you, let’s connect. This is the work I do every day. I help people move beyond self-doubt, expand into their true potential, and share their authentic voice with the world.

You are not a fraud. Your inner critic is lying. And you are so much bigger than the fear.

Clare Downham

Clare is passionate about empowering high-achieving Gen X women to break free from stress, overthinking, and perfectionism. Through her transformational courses, group programs, and bespoke 1:1 coaching, she guides women on a journey toward emotional resilience, inner alignment, and authentic connection. Her unique "Thriving Woman" approach helps women shift from feeling overwhelmed and disconnected to living with clarity, balance, and self-worth. Participants learn to release self-doubt, embrace imperfections, and reconnect with their true values. They go from striving for external validation to confidently making decisions aligned with their deepest purpose. Women who work with Clare experience real, lasting changes—they feel more grounded and calmer, confidently set boundaries, and navigate life’s challenges with grace. They stop overthinking and gain mental clarity, creating space for meaningful relationships and self-care. Her clients find themselves thriving in both their personal and professional lives, no longer driven by perfectionism but by a sense of inner peace and authentic self-expression. Imagine living a life where you lead with confidence, maintain emotional balance, and embrace your worth without hesitation. This is what is possible with the Thriving Woman Approach.

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