Overwhelm Is a Message, Not a Problem to Solve
“If overwhelm is just a message, then why do I feel it even when there’s not that much on my to-do list?”
This is a question I hear so often, and it’s completely understandable. We've been taught to believe that overwhelm is caused by the sheer volume of tasks we’ve got to complete. It makes logical sense. More to do equals more pressure, right?
But what if that’s not it?
What if the feeling of overwhelm has less to do with what’s on your to-do list, and more to do with what you’re not feeling?
It’s Not the Tasks, It’s the Emotion You’re Avoiding
For me, and for so many of my clients, overwhelm doesn’t start with the first task of the day. It often starts before we’ve even opened our laptops. Sometimes, it’s the moment we wake up. We glance at our calendar or run through our mental checklist, and a tightness settles into the chest. For me, it feels like a heavy weight, or an elephant sat right on top of me.
That feeling of overwhelm isn’t about the number of things you need to do. It’s about the fact that you’re having an emotional response to those things and trying not to feel it.
And because we don’t want to feel that discomfort, we get busy.
We procrastinate.
We scroll.
We reorganize our workspace.
We reply to emails we could easily leave till later.
We clean the kitchen instead of sitting down to do the real work.
In that moment, unconsciously, we’re trying to avoid a feeling. And that avoidance is what keeps us stuck.
Why We Avoid Emotional Intensity
Most of us learned early on that big emotions are “too much.” Whether we were told to calm down, be quiet, or stop making a fuss, we got the message that emotion is inconvenient or even unsafe.
So, it makes perfect sense that when a feeling like overwhelm starts rising in the body, we want to get rid of it. We think there must be something wrong with us for feeling it in the first place.
But what if there’s nothing wrong?
What if emotional intensity isn’t a problem to solve, but a message to notice?
Overwhelm and Overthinking: Two Sides of the Same Coin
I often say that overwhelm and overthinking are the same thing, just experienced in different ways. Overthinking appears as racing thoughts, looping worries, imagined scenarios. Overwhelm shows up in the body as a tight chest, shallow breathing, buzzing tension.
But they come from the same place. Too much mind activity, often driven by a belief that we need to get everything done now or else we’re failing somehow.
The thing is, the more we try to get rid of that feeling, the more intense it becomes. We fuel the very thing we’re trying to escape.
It’s a self-feeding system where thought creates overwhelm, the mind tries to fix the overwhelm which creates more thought making more overwhelm.
What If You Didn’t Need to Do Anything?
Here’s a gentle reframe: what if you didn’t have to do anything about the overwhelm?
What if your system, your mind, your body, knows how to move through it, just like your body knows how to heal a cut without your conscious involvement?
You don’t need to wrestle with the feeling. You don’t need to solve it. What helps is presence, not performance. Sitting with it, rather than sprinting away from it.
For me, that looks like pausing.
Often, when I catch myself in busy-faff mode where I might be scrolling, tidying and avoiding. I used to get caught up in that for ages but now, I stop. I step away from my desk and sit in a comfy chair I’ve intentionally placed out of reach of my keyboard. I breathe. I feel. I let my body do what it knows how to do.
And when I do, something always shifts. Often, the next step becomes clear. Or I feel reconnected to why I do what I do. It’s like coming home to myself.
You're Not Too Emotional. You're Just Human
There is no such thing as being “too emotional.”
We’ve just learned to treat emotions like problems. But they’re not. They’re energy. They rise. They move. They pass.
It’s only when we resist them that they seem to get stuck.
That resistance, which manifests in thoughts like, "I shouldn’t feel this" or "I need to get rid of this now”, is what feeds the loop. And yet, the very act of allowing the emotion creates space for it to shift. When we meet it with curiosity instead of criticism, it doesn’t take over. It moves through seamlessly.
A Gentle Way Through
If you’ve been feeling like you have to fix your emotions before you can get on with your day, here’s something to try:
• Pause before the rush
• Notice what’s happening in your body
• Let the feeling be there without needing to change it
• Remind yourself that you don’t have to believe every thought
• Ask, “Is this true?” and gently listen
Because overwhelm isn’t caused by what’s on your to-do list. It’s caused by how you relate to it. The pressure. The thinking. The urgency that says you need to do it all now and do it all perfectly.
But you don’t. You never did.
You are not behind.
You are not too much.
You are enough, right here, right now.
Let’s continue this conversation:
What does overwhelm feel like in your body?
What happens when you allow yourself to feel it, instead of trying to fix it?
I’d love to hear.
