How to Stop Overthinking and Make Better Decisions Without Pressure

What if your clearest decisions don’t come from thinking harder, but from slowing down and listening differently?

The Roller Coaster of Decision Making

Have you ever found yourself tangled up in the back and forth of a decision, completely in your head, unable to find clarity no matter how hard you try? That’s exactly where I found myself recently. A business opportunity came my way. Initially, I felt excited. I could see the potential, the money, the impact. But almost immediately, that excitement turned into urgency.

Without realising it, I had jumped straight into overthinking. Urgency took over. I thought I had to act fast. But underneath that urgency was fear.

Fear of making the wrong choice.

Fear of missing out.

Fear of getting it wrong.

In the days that followed, something started to feel off. I was arguing with myself constantly. Pro and con lists. Doubt. Circles of mental chatter that just made me dizzy. Sound familiar?

Your Body Knows Before Your Mind Does

From a 3 Principles perspective, one of the most powerful signals we have is the feeling in our body. When we are caught up in thought and when our mind is full of pressure and urgency, our body lets us know. For me, it was a washing-machine feeling in my stomach, tightness in my chest, a general sense of disconnection and discomfort. That is the body’s way of saying our thinking is stirred up. That is not the time to make a decision.

I remembered something Dicken Bettinger once said early in my 3 Principles journey. If you are stirred up about a decision, it is not time to make it. Clarity is not born in the storm of overthinking. It arises from a quieter, more settled place.

The Myth of Urgency

The world often tells us that decisions must be made now. That if we wait, the opportunity might vanish. But that’s rarely true. In fact, if something really is urgent, like stopping a child from stepping into traffic, you won’t feel yourself making the decision at all. You’ll just act. The deeper wisdom in you will move before thought even kicks in.

That’s the beautiful thing. The things that truly need to happen now happen without strain. Most other decisions? They can wait. You don’t need to rush. And when you do pause, when you give yourself space, something else begins to happen.

The Power of Not Knowing

On a walk recently, I turned to Bruce and said, “We don’t have to decide. We can just sit with the not knowing.” And what if that was okay? What if not knowing right now was perfectly fine? The pressure to decide comes from our thinking, not from life itself. That space of not knowing is fertile ground. It is where insight is born.

At that moment, I saw so clearly that I was not ready to say yes. And that’s all I needed to know for now.

The Most Aligned Decisions Don’t Come From Thought

From a 3 Principles perspective, our most aligned decisions arise from a deeper place. Not from analytical pro and con lists or from frantic mental spinning, but from the clarity that comes when thought settles. Here’s the part I always find fascinating: when you pause long enough, options change.

The A or B you thought were the only choices? One of them might disappear or a third, completely unexpected option, “C”, appears, or maybe event D, or something you never imagined. When your mind clears, new possibilities emerge that were invisible in the fog of urgency.

You Cannot Get It Wrong

The fear of making the wrong decision can be paralysing. But what if there is no wrong decision? What if every step simply leads us to the next part of our journey? Looking back at some of the choices I made in the lead-up to burnout, it would be easy to label them poor. But they led me here, to a life I love, doing work that is meaningful. So how could they be wrong?

Every decision carries a lesson, a redirection, a gift. From this inside-out understanding, we begin to see that life is not linear. It is zig-zaggy and messy and full of surprises. And it always brings us something of value, even when it doesn’t look that way at first.

The Inner Critic Loves Decision Drama

Our inner critic feeds on this kind of decision-making pressure. It tells us we’re going to mess it up, that we’ll look foolish and that others will judge us. But that voice is just meaning-making noise. It is not the truth.

The truth is much quieter. It lives underneath the drama. It is the feeling of inner knowing that gently rises when thought calms down. When we give ourselves space, it has room to speak.

Urgency Is Not Clarity

So many high achievers I work with believe they have to figure everything out. That it’s their job to make the perfect decision. That success comes from control. I get it because I’ve been there too. But I’ve also learned that the feeling of urgency is a red flag. It tells you that you are not in a clear state of mind. That alone is all the clarity you need in that moment.

Urgent thinking is not wise thinking. It is not your inner guidance. It is simply a sign that you’re caught in a swirl. And from that swirl, you don’t need to act. You need to pause.

Letting the Universe Catch Up

Sometimes it feels like when you let go, life rearranges things for you. As your mind settles, it’s as if the universe settles too. The right decision emerges on its own. A path appears, a door opens and you just know.

It is not passive. It is not about sitting and doing nothing. It is about trusting the timing of clarity. Trusting the natural intelligence that lives inside all of us and letting that be enough.

You Don’t Have to Decide Today

So, if you are caught in a decision right now, let this be your permission slip. You don’t have to decide today. You don’t need to figure it all out. If the feeling is off, it’s okay to wait. Let your mind settle. Let your body speak. Let clarity rise in its own time.

Most decisions are not as urgent as they seem. And the ones that matter will come to you when you are ready.

If you’d like support seeing your way through a big decision or reconnecting to that inner steadiness, I’d love to help. You’re warmly invited to book a Thriving Life Clarity Call. Let’s create the space for you to hear your own wisdom again.

With love, Clare x